.

I'm broke. To the lowest level. I don't want anyone know what i'm going to write but I really can't help myself face this alone. I know, writing it here won't help too, but at least this screen know and someday when I read this. I'll be a better person.

I'm sick of hearing yells. They're just yell at each other like they're far. They're using high tones like in an orchestra. All I can do is just be quite and keeping my head down so they don't know that i'm tired.

I'm sick being pushed. It's like I have to win at every chance. I know I'm the only one and everyone puts attention to me. But, I hope that doesn't mean that I have to be perfect in everyways. I'm a human too, I'm a girl too, I'm still 15 and still searching for myself.

I've been a really bad person. I was vein, a liar, bitch, slut, whatever you call it. I was a nasty girl. Then when i'm changing, I realize that everything goes wrong. Too much stuffs gone, too much heart breaks, too much cheats, too much bad things. And I was one of those shits. For you, who ever being ignored or dumped. I apologize, sorry for everything. Sorry cause i'm still can't forget you. I know it's too late but still, sorry. And I wish, I hope, I pray, karma comes to me not in this way. I know I can't set my hopes too high, cause every hello ends with a goodbye. But please, I've fly and fall too hard and now I hope I won't get so much wounds. That's why I'm not telling you all of my problems because most of those are you. You are my problems, love you as always do.

'If God bring you to it, He will bring you through it'
God, Thank You cause i'm still breathing, loving, and thinking.

'Everybody has problems. Everybody has bad times. Do we sacrifice all the good times because of them?'
I have him. That's more than enough.

'Use your smile to change the world but don't let the owrld change your smile'
Be strong, think positive, keep your heads up.

'I'm not telling you it's going to be easy, I'm telling you it's going to be worth it'
'If you want a rainbow, you're going to have to put up with the rain'
Nothing easy, everything needs works, prays, and dreams.

'you are stronger than you think'

Nadiya's Returns

I'M COMING BACK HAHAHA *like a boss* *like a superhero actually, like The Superman Returns*
Feels like it's been ten years since the last post. Really.
Time never stops, It really never stops. And you'll never realize how long you've been passed time until you see thing that you've done.
And I've done MANY things.
Let's make it a list.

List of things I've done:

I'm 15 now *party* -> still not getting a driving license, write it here just for cheering myself...
I graduated (finally). I'm going to High School. Stuck in the same class for THREE years.
Holiday was great, but it's nothing to compare with High School.
My class starts a week earlier than ANY OTHER SCHOOL in this town.
My first impress in this class was.. not-so-good, they all look just like my classmates in middle high class, I was hoping too high.
Time goes by, I learnt, I slept, I ate, and without purpose I changed. In better way.
My classmates change too, they become more attractive to me. And I become more extrovert.
I'm active in organization in school.
I have a lot of friends from outside my class, even the seniors.
I was in Singapore with the whole class, play in Universal Studios, going to Universities like NTU and NUS, on a game called Castaway Trip which we must find a thing called 'trumpah' and we're searching for hours in China Town, making the scrapbook of that Singapore-Trip together with my Group until late in my friend's house.
Taking IGCSE Mathematics tests.
My class really love to watching movies together.
I'm on relationship with a really good man.
One of my Middle High teacher passed away. Rest in Peace, teacher. I gave all of my condolences for you.
I have a monkey called Lolly.
I'm having a lot of remedial in my first final-term tests. De javu to my first year in middle high.
It's still haven't finished yet. I forget a lot, there's still few thing haven't written here.

And one, the most important list: I really want too explain it all. But it's too much to be written this night. It's already late.

Just wish I had another time to spare with this post(s)

ITP-302

HELLO EVERYONE long time no see U,U Well I've been very very really super duper busy. For preparing The National Exam. That's why i'm not posting for awhile. Okay, I'm learning not just at school. I'm taking extra lessons at Inten. It called prosus (program khusus) or Special Program. I don't want to be in the class that full of my schoolmates. So I listed my name in the class that called ITP-302. I don't know the exact numbers of the students because sometimes they're absent or change the class and other things. Why not start from the closest one.

INAS.

She's my besties. My sister. My soul. She's my schoolmate from 9A (I'm in 9B). She hates me, I love her.

L: Inas R: Me

BUYUNG

His real name is Damario Abdalla but we used to call him Buyung. Buyung means 'boy' in Padang's language. He sucks. Well, he's kind but sometimes tease me A LOT. okay. He's inas's classmates. He loves baseball.

MARIANA

She's from SMPK 5 Penabur. She's kind and cute. She loves laughing in class.

CHELSEA

She's from SMPK Tarakanita 4. She's Mariana's bestfriend. She's lovely and funny.

L-R: idk, Mariana, Chelsea, idk

SAMANTHA

She's Mariana's schoolmate. She loves heavy-metal music (just like inas).

NASYA

She's from 1JHS. She's pretty and friendly.

ROSY

She's the most diligent student in this class. She never absent. And She's nice. But it is a pity that i can't find her photo.

FABIO

He's Mariana's and Samantha's schoolmate. He could beatbox and funny. He's the most normal boy in this class. The other? they're not human. Unfortunately I can't find any photos of him.

REY

His real name is Reynaldi Nasution but his friend usually call him Rey or Reynald or Reynaldi-_- like Tukul wkwk.  He's from 99 JHS. He's like to cheats and doing something crazy that humans don't do. The photo is at the bottom with other boy.

ERAL

His real name is Namaz Eral Al-Fattah. He's Rey's schoolmate and soulmate (i think). He likes to joke around and often tease me with Buyung.

RAYHAN

He's from Dipenogoro JHS. He ALWAYS tease me. But, lately he always absent. idk why.

U-D: Eral, Rey, idk (few years ago)

L-R: Eral and under him is his sister, idk, Rey (2009)

L-R: Eral, His sister

Rayhan

NB: All of These photo is from facebook and most of them copied without 'anu' -_-a

Girls (?)

Well, today I go to a Mall. And I met some girls in groups with unique (weird) attitude. I went alone, that's why I take more attention around.

1. I went to a CDs and Cassetes Store
I was searching for Katy Perry (Teenage Dream) and 3OH!3 (Streets Of Gold) Albums. Inside that store, there was about 4-6 girls were choosing CDs. I thought they're not younger than me. BUT, They're searching for Jonas Brothers CDs and Camp Rock 2 and something like that. I thought it was funny because they all have same interests-_- AND they bought nothing. They're just like get into that store putting some CDs out of the shelf and go out with nothing. Actually, They weren't putting out the CDs out of shelf but they're putting A lot of CDs, read the songs and go out with nothing.


2. I want to eat at a Food Court
I ordered Sushi and wait. And then came 5 girls, still with their uniform. They sit and after awhile they're shouting: "Hey! Hey Irvandi! With who are you go out? Hey Vandi!" Well, They're shouting really really hard. And I could feel there's many couples of eyes take a look at them. AND they eat nothing. They're just bought A glass of mineral water (not each, they're just bought one for they all). And chatting each other. And then have walk after they're bored-_-"

Well, sometimes girls could tease a lot. And I'm a girl too. And now I'm trying not to tease or bother other people.

Quotes!

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